You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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