so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
