i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
