I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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