Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
