We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
