Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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