We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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