the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
