with your own penis?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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