so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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