So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
