my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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