every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
