Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
