I'm jealous of your bromance
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
