You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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