Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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