i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
