hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize