Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize