whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
