ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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