they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
