You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
this is an emotional support booty call
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
