i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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