Have you finally orgasmed yet?
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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