I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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