WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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