And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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