God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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