pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize