I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
