I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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