Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
