i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
worst night to have a conscience
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
