If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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