I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
