I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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