It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
