A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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