How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
