At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
