I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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