i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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