dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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