I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
