i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
