we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
