i don't like sucking hair
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize