She's JV to your varsity
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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