Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
