Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
