so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He felt like a one man threesome
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
