so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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